I’m due for an MRA of the brain this year. This is a type of MRI that looks into the blood vessels. They can visualize my aneurysm and check for new ones.

Last year, I was told by the nurse practitioner (NP) at my neurosurgeon’s office, that the order for the MRA was in place. They want me to have this test in July.

It takes an act of congress to get a day off in the summer at my current workplace. Now that our schedule is being made by an app and not a human, we no longer have the ability to request a specific shift. Meaning, getting a day off in July, or an early shift in July on a specific date is all but impossible.

I tried to email my NP yesterday to ask if I could schedule the MRA in June because I know I have a week off mid-June. But, I found the NP no longer works there.

I tried emailing a different NP that I’ve seen before. I received a response back from someone else who said THAT NP no longer works there. She advised me to call the cerebrovascular center to establish care with someone else.

I called them this morning and was stunned to find out that my neurosurgeon left as well. This is the world class Cleveland Clinic. They can’t be bothered to send a letter, an automated call, an email to let patients know their entire medical team quit? The people who prescribe their life sustaining medications are all gone. So, too bad? They can’t be organized enough to see that a patient has necessary follow up because of a life changing illness, and, I don’t know, FOLLOW UP with the patient?

I guess that’s too much to ask.

I spoke to a nice woman today at the cerebrovascular center. She took my name and number, said she’d email the new director and have his nurse get a hold of me. I wasn’t going to hold my breath. But, this nice woman did what she said. And the nurse called me. She quelled my anxiety about needing to schedule the MRA in June. She said that could probably be arranged. She promised to have the NP sign the order for the MRA and have the radiology department call me to schedule it. That last part hasn’t happened yet, but I’m hopeful that the stars will align and I can get this done.

Before this all happened, I realized I’d have to reschedule my next round of Botox because of the shit with the schedule at work. My Botox typically wears off about 10-14 days before my next round of shots. The shots always initially worsen my headaches for 1-2 weeks after I get them. Because of the schedule at work, I had to move my next round of Botox to 10 days later than my original appointment So I’ll likely be in agony for 3-4 weeks.

While I was dealing with all of this bullshit, I started looking at going on intermittent FMLA so work would be required to give me time off for these medical appointments. But, the harsh language surrounding the policy has turned me off of it. They can audit you at anytime. If there hasn’t been enough of an attempt to schedule these appointments in my time off work, they can fire me. If they find that my ability to do my job is affected by my medical appointments, they can demote me.

Why is this so fucking difficult? Why doesn’t anyone else care about my well being? The world class Cleveland Clinic would not have cared if I had been lost to follow up. My job sure as shit does not care if I have a headache every day, as long as I show up. They can’t be bothered to give me a day off in July because “the needs of the business” come before my brain. What if there’s another aneurysm in there? Do I have to work through that, too?

I’m still looking for a new job. I applied to one last week and did not get an interview. My coworker just quit. She’s been super supportive, telling me she was rejected by 20 places before she got this offer. Telling me not to give up. It gives me a little bit of hope.

But, things just should not be this hard. It shouldn’t be this hard to get necessary and potentially life saving medical care.

Fingers crossed that I get to spend my June vacation at the doctor’s instead of on a beach. That’s what life has come to, I guess.