I really wanted to keep up with this blog more. I like writing. It’s cathartic and therapeutic.

I’m disappointed in myself for not writing more.

I’m trying my best. Between the job, the fatigues and the four kids, it has been difficult to make time for any hobbies for myself. There are only so many hours in a day.

The Christmas season came and went. I think this will be the last year my kids believe in Santa. I feel like I should be sad about that, but I’m not. They should know all the work is put in by real people who love them.

Work is hard. I’m so “in my head” about management recording our calls and spot checking quality. What if I slur? What if I lose my train of thought? What if I have a word finding issue? The whole thing just makes me so anxious. I can’t wait to get this first one over with and see how bad it is.

My oldest son is having major behavioral issues. He has OCD and ADHD symptoms. I don’t know where his autism ends and a different diagnosis begins. He is so angry and agitated at times. He has started hitting other family members and will not respect a boundary if someone puts it up. He’s mean and he bullies his brothers. We are getting him into an outpatient behavioral therapy clinic. I don’t like spending time with him. I’m just so sad about it. I hope these people can help him.

My other son was diagnosed with precocious puberty. As if that kid needed another diagnosis. He got his first dose of Lupron last week.

I really hope 2023 is better. It’s hard to believe it will be six years since my stroke. It feels like yesterday and a lifetime ago.